It's always cloudy except for when you're looking to the past

Just because I no longer have a quote board posted up in my house doesn't mean I've stopped gathering some of the interesting things people have said. Here are some of my recent (or not-so-recent) favorites:

"Wow, well I sure hope you don't ... die." - Mom, after hearing that Joseph is going skydiving

"I'm just a live-saving machine." - Brad

"I have a piece of meat stuck in my hole." (A pause for laughter) "Laughing made it come out. No, maybe it was bread." - Nay

"There's no pistachio crunching in apologizing!" - Curb Your Enthusiasm

"Sometimes I tell him, 'I'm glad I'm adopted, I don't want to inherit your nose.' " - Chad

"No, but if you think it's a good idea to make a Silly Putty impression of your remote you're wrong!" - Kim

"I've only got two balls?!" - Joseph

"If someone attacked us I'd run so fast." - Craig, as he, Renee and I walked through a creepy area at night

"Guns kill people like spoons made Rosie O' Donnell fat." - A random bumper sticker

"Why would you want to be gay? You already have it!" - Justin


And I'm not really sure who said these:

"I don't believe in beautiful mistakes."

"Lena, I've never wanted to brush my teeth, but you make it look fun."

"You look like a sexy zebra."

It's better than best

For about a week I was spinning. This was the first time I’d felt that way in close to eight months, and it was more than a little unsettling. I’m not sure what set me off down that path but I know what brought me back: a touch. A small touch. An unexpected touch. The touch of his hand on mine, caressing me when he didn’t have to.

There was no reason for physical contact, what with his back facing me for a better view of the slideshow playing on the wall, yet he still made the effort to reach for my hand. It was almost as though he needed to, like he couldn’t resist the feeling of his skin on mine. Not sexually, just lovingly. It was that exact moment I remembered why being with him feels so right. After that I finally came free from the emotional baggage I’d been trapped under and was once again swept into his patient arms, a feeling unmatched by anything in this world.

And now I'm back to normal - or at least normal for me.

It's go time

I already know I'm weird, but sometimes I amaze even myself. Like the thing I do when I put on my running shoes: I hate when the tongue or back flap gets scrunched down inside and touches my feet (it kind of makes me want to pee my pants or throw up), yet I always let it happen for the satisfaction of pulling it back out. I could easily hold onto the tongue when I put the shoes on and eliminate this problem altogether, but I don't. I probably never will.

I force myself to endure this unpleasant experience for the sole purpose of becoming more appreciative. How would I know how great the right thing is if I never knew how awful the wrong one is?

Same with life. I honestly believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You want to be a marshmallow forever? Fine, don't run that marathon. Don't graduate from college. Don't let go of that bad relationship. Don't stand up for what you believe in. And certainly don't leave the tongue inside your shoe for a couple of seconds.

A tree of wishes

I added up all the money owed to me (some of which I may never actually get) and it's right around $3,000. That's a decent amount of money, no? If I had that cash right now I'd get some new shoes... And jeans... And sunglasses... And jewelry. I'd drive up to Seattle. I'd take a trip to the beach. I'd treat Craig to a fancy dinner.

Who am I kidding, I'd probably just hide it away in my savings account. I sure wouldn't be scared of checking my balance at the bank anymore though...

It's all in the hips

I celebrated turning the big 2-5 with lots of drinking and good times last week... I don't remember it all, but trust me, it happened. Now I find myself caught between being young and being old. So what are the benefits?

Being 25 means I'm too old for:

Acne (I wish).

Making bad decisions (Ha).

Tantrums (Possibly never).

Getting carded (Not quite).


Being 25 means I'm too young for:

Grey hair (I've had that for years now).

Aches (Constant).

Bad hearing (Huh? What did you say?).

Memory loss (I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached).


Well, at least I'm back to being an odd-numbered age. That's good, no?

I believe I can fly

Is it weird that when I run down the stairs at home I grab my boobs? It's not something I think about, I just do it. Stairs, both hands, boom - It's like a reflex or something.

Speaking of stairs, Luke fell from the top of the railing today and landed on the hardwood floor. I'm a horrible judge of distance but it's a good 10-15 steps to the top, so... 20 feet? He's a huge cat with a huge belly, which I'm sure made for an unpleasant landing. All I know is he was balancing on the railing behind the chair one minute and the next he was gone, and half a second or so later there was a loud THUMP from below. Renee and I looked at each other in shock and raced to the bottom to make sure he wasn't dead (he wasn't); the second we saw he was okay we burst out laughing. Does that make us horrible? It was really quite entertaining. Right now the poor guy is upstairs sleeping, but I do hope he's okay.

At the end of this week I will be one year older and most likely weighing in at a few pounds heavier. I'm not excited with the getting older part and I certainly don't want to be fatter, but you can't stop time, and you sure as heck can't say no to the ridiculously awesome spread Renee has mapped out for this weekend. Ready or not...

Such a waste

I'm stumped. It seems that each time I sit down and try to write I'm interrupted with a bout of lameness. Even now I find myself struggling for words.

It took 15 minutes to come up with those three sentences.

Who would want to 'R' her?

My cousin's baby is so cute that I almost changed my mind about not having children. Almost. At the little guy's birthday party on Saturday he smeared his face with cake and was just all-around adorable, leading me to imagine what it would be like to have a family one of these days. It might also be because Maria and Harlan are such a cute couple and have a cute house and a cute baby and are just cute, cute, cute that I couldn't help but long for something similar.
At the same party I got roped into making cupcakes and taking pictures of them for a book my Aunt Joyce is writing. Okay, so I volunteered to do it... and I'm really excited to get started. But still, making 31 different batches of cupcakes and then taking pictures of them is quite the task. Anybody have any outstanding recipes they'd like to share?? (I'm talking to you, Will, if you still read this.)

Renee had her wisdom teeth pulled on Friday. Ouch. I can't get mine done until I get insurance again, although I'm more afraid than ever after seeing what she went through. Funny story though: Before the dentist put Renee under they asked who was there to pick her up, to which she replied, "Debra." (Mom usually goes by Deb but for some reason Renee went with her full name.) Mom and I were in the waiting room when one of the dental assistants came out looking for "Brenda"; we both kept talking because we assumed it was some lady who was late for her appointment or something. A few minutes went by before the assistant came back out asking for this Brenda person, even opening the door to see if someone was waiting outside. She seemed a little worried, and in my mind I wondered if maybe they got Mom's name wrong because they read it off something Renee filled out with her chicken-scratch handwriting. I nixed this idea when I heard them say "Brenda" drives a green Ford... it seemed like she must have been a regular patient for them to know what kind of car to look for. Mom has a green Ford Escape, but I just pictured this other person's car being a light green Ford Focus (don't ask me why). Finally, about 10 minutes after the initial Brenda announcement, a different lady comes out asking for Elena and saying she's looking for the person who is here with Renee. Ha. I guess they kept going back to Renee and telling her nobody was there to take her home.

Craig, Brad, Renee and I saw the Sex and the City movie at midnight on Thursday. It was fantastic, I'm going to see it again. Any questions?