WOULD YOU RATHER

Have everyone's sympathy or be completely ignored?

Work with people who are incredibly smart or incredibly dumb?

Go blind or go deaf?

Catch your significant other cheating or your father cheating?

Win a lot of money once or earn a respectable amount throughout your lifetime?

Be a really good cook or a really good eater?

Live off the government or live off your parents?

Drive a really nice car but live in it or live in a nice house but always have to take the bus?

Enjoy a mild winter or a mild summer?

Live an hour away from a job you love or minutes away from a job you hate?

Take it or leave it

Things I can't do:
Wear mismatched socks
Fart on command
Get excited about golf
Taxes
Sleep in
Cook the appropriate amount of spaghetti noodles
Talk about my feelings
Drink tequila
Come up with a really good excuse
Curl my hair


Things I can do:
Clean, clean, clean
Drive it like it's stolen
Burp on command
Clip coupons
Daydream
Take one for the team
Waste time
Make killer guacamole
Give myself a pedicure
Assist

Bad to the bone

I love my friends, but there are times when I don't want to be around them. Does this make me a bad friend?

I love my boyfriend, but there are times when I don't want to be around him. Am I a bad girlfriend?

I love my family, but there are times I don't want to be around them. Am I a bad sister/daughter?

Sometimes I wish for bad things to happen to random people, just so I can feel better about myself... Nothing too awful or life-changing, mind you, just little bumps here and there to make their day worse. A flat tire. An iffy haircut. A speeding ticket. A kid that won't stop crying. A dropped cell phone. A dented fender. Forgotten keys. Disappointment. It's best if I get to witness such minor disasters. Does this make me a bad person? <---- Don't worry, I know this makes me a bad person; this may actually be the definition of a bad person.

Dirty laundry

Why is it that I can work for an entire month without a day off, yet the act of doing laundry feels insurmountable? A relatively simple process -- wash, dry, fold, put away -- makes me crazy. I hate it. I also hate opening the dryer to find somebody's clothes sitting in there, which, sadly enough, happens about 99 percent of the time. Apparently my roommates/sisters don't know how to collect their clothes from the dryer.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste

I feel like I ramble and/or repeat myself a lot. Have I run out of words, or did I run out of thoughts to fill the words I am forced to constantly say? Right now I'd like to try going an entire day without speaking. It was terrible when I lost my voice a few months ago and could not speak for three days, but all I'm asking for is the option of speaking when I actually want to. A good majority of what I say these days is meaningless dribble I've been taught to say like a trained monkey, and as a result, my mind has turned into mush. When do I get to exercise my brain again?

A sunny feeling

Everything is better when the sun is out -- and by everything, I mean everything. The sun's magic rays transform the world into a playground of happiness whenever they appear. On my way to work this morning I thought about how thankful I am to be alive. I certainly wasn't excited about missing out on such gorgeous weather, but I was in a good mood. I could use more days like today; in fact, I think we all need more days like today.

Enough is enough

:::begin rant:::

All day I am told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, how not to do it, that I should do it faster, that I need to do this first and then get back to doing those 18 other things I was in the middle of, etc., etc. Hurry up. Slow down. Put your right foot in and shake it all about. It's always, "Bring me the Hillier file,"or, "Get me a copy of the complaint," or "Watch the door." Allllll. Daaaaay. Looooong. And lately it's been nonstop, since working back-to-back-to-back doesn't offer any sort of break. I'm seriously considering driving into a highway divider at very high speed. As much as I love being constantly bossed around, I would love even more for people to please just treat me with some respect. I know I work for you, I will never question that part, and I certainly don't need to be reminded every minute of every day that I am inferior. It seems like all I really do is take orders like some discipline-challenged dog. Is this really why I went to college?

:::end rant:::