Courtesy of the red, white, and blue

As an American, I can't tell you how many times I've been told how important it is to vote. "It's your civic duty, your right as an American citizen," my mom always said. "You are a fool if you choose not to participate."

While I agree with her and have voted every time I was able to, I also wonder what would happen if the election process was revealed to be a sham. What if it was like American Idol, where the winner is hand-selected by executives based upon a number of factors (talent, marketability, looks, ratings, etc.), but then passed off as having been voted on by the viewers?* Or, how about if it was based on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, where everything is made up and the points don't matter? I'm not saying this is how I think things work in this country at all, but just, what if?? It reminds me of that Weird Al song "Everything You Know is Wrong." In a word: crazy.


*This conspiracy theory about American Idol has not been proven, though Ruben Studdard somehow beating Clay Aiken does nothing to soften my suspicions.

A subtle shift

As I watched my dad take his chainsaw to a log and my mom hoist a large chunk of wood onto the log-splitter the other day, I realized just how fragile they both are. It seems like Mom could be crushed by the mere weight of a falling pine cone, and Dad... well, he is at the stage where pretty much every joint always aches. He even paused during his chainsaw-wielding routine to work out a kink in the middle of his back. The number of gray hairs on their heads continues to multiply every time I see them. Mom's hands and fingers have begun to constantly ache. Dad can hardly hear.

As much as it hurts to admit, I am fully aware that there will be a time when neither of them will exist on this earth. Never again will I be able to joke with Dad about him needing a haircut. No more will I see 'Mom' on the screen of my ringing cell phone. Their house -- complete with the impossible driveway -- will cease to be a gathering place for us children. My heart literally starts to hurt at the idea of all this. I guess it's good to think about it when they are still around so I can appreciate and love them as much as they deserve, but dang, it's a scary thought. I don't want to try to function without one or both of them here to turn to.

And now Dad wants to deep fry a turkey for Christmas. Yikes. All I can think is how incredibly dangerous it is if you don't do it right, or if you are easily distracted, or if you are a little klutzy, or if you are ... well, my dad. It's as though the roles have reversed a little, with me wanting to be more of a protector for them.

Wow, is this what being an adult is like??

I'm not the best, I'm not the worst

So here I am. Waiting. On the computer, just waiting, waiting, waiting. For a phone call, an e-mail, anything that tells me if I need to head over to Tualatin to practice some investigative journalism. It's not yet 8 in the morning, I didn't actually get to my bed until around 2, I am exhausted, and yet... And yet I can't just sleep through this mess of media disorganization. Hospitals are funny in that reporters are not allowed (at least at Legacy Meridian Park) to schedule or show up for interviews without a PR person present, yet (again, at least at Meridian Park) the PR people seem to be virtual Neanderthals to work with. A five-day turnaround on a simple request? Seems a tad unreasonable for me, especially since everyone involved was clear about when the deadline is (it's Monday, in case you are wondering).

I almost feel like shirking my responsibility and just going back to bed. Almost. And you can tell I'm serious by my use of the word 'shirk.'

Hate will get you

To make a mountain of
Your life is just a choice
But I never learned enough
To listen to the voice that told me
Always love
Hate will get you every time
Always love
Don't wait til the finish line

Slow demands come around
Squeeze the air and keep the rest out
It helps to write it down
Even when you then cross it out

But always love
Hate will get you every time
Always love
Even when you ought to fight

Self-directed lives
I want to know what it'd be like to
Aim so high above
Any card that you get dealt you

Always love
Hate will get you every time
Always love
Hate will get you
And I've been held back by something
You said to me quietly on the stairs
You said
Hey you good ones

Thank you, Nada Surf, for this slap in the face. Driving home and hearing this song made me realize just how petty it is to be jealous, annoyed, angry, bitter. People are people, and you should try to love them the best you can - and by you I mean me. I should try harder to be more understanding. I should be more generous. I should do the best I can in all situations, regardless of whether I feel like it. It makes me sad to admit what a failure I've been in this area lately, and really just in general.

Get your shine on

“All I have to do is check your blog to find out what’s wrong.”

Sorry buddy, this time you’re actually going to have to ask me. It might seem as though I’m mad, and maybe I am a little, but how can I stay angry at the guy who bought me a heated blanket for Christmas? It’s the gift that keeps on giving, especially during these cold winter months. That’s something I try to keep in mind when things don’t seem to go the way I had planned.

Baby in here?

It seems like everyone is either announcing they are gay or pregnant. Clay Aiken. Jamie-Lynn Spears. Bristol Palin. Daniel Radcliffe - wait, excuse me, he's not out yet. Ashlee Simpson. Lance Bass. Lindsay Lohan. Nicole Richie. Jennifer Garner. Someone I know. Someone else I know. A few people they know. It's the newest trend!

Craig? Brad? Is there something you want to tell me?