I made a list and I'm checking it twice

Things I intend to do between now and the end of my 25th summer:

Buy a good bottle of wine
Get a massage
Cook for Craig
Plan my financial future
Take my sisters out to a fancy dinner
Start a scrapbook
Go to a reading at Powell's
Visit Nila
Visit Kasey
Go to lunch with mom
Set aside a weekend to read an entire book
Dine at a Greek restaurant
Sing karaoke
Host a Girls Night at the apartment
Go to the beach
Go to a Lumberjax game
Go to a Winterhawks game
Go to a Blazers game
Wear a skirt with confidence
Go ice skating
Take Grandma to the zoo
Call in sick and spend the day taking pictures at the Rose Garden (not that Rose Garden)
Hit some balls at the driving range
Learn to walk in those dang Carlos Santana shoes
Attend a play
Get a tattoo
Check out a country-western bar

No bones about it: I've been through worse

Okay, okay, this is the worst misspelling... ever: pelage. Instead of plague. As in, "you avoid it like the pelage" (copied directly from the blog I found it in).

Am I missing something here? Pelage actually is a term for the hair on a mammal, so perhaps this is just a phrase I somehow missed through all these years. Maybe. Or maybe the guy who wrote it is just dumb.

You tell me.

Where do you go when you're lonely?

I'm back from my trip down the road to insanity.

Sunday brunch with Craig helped.

Mid-day naps helped.

A Saturday night with some wine and my Sex and the City girls (and Nay) helped.

A glimpse of nice weather helped.

Seeing Mir smile helped.

Sushi with Shawn helped.

Throwing away all those old letters helped.

Here's to hoping I can keep my head on straight for at least a few more months, and if not, that I can remember how to get it turned around again.

I do my best thinking when my head is full of you

All give, no take. Damn me.

I went to a reading at Powell’s last night for a new book called “Not Quite What I Was Planning,” and now I’m hooked. The whole thing is based on a long-ago challenge to Ernest Hemingway to write a story in half a dozen words (he came up with “For sale: baby shoes, never worn”), and the authors thought it would be interesting for regular people to come up with their own six-word memoirs.

Don’t forget who knows your secrets.

Some of the entries include “Overjoyed I’m not like my sister,” “Learning to be great at mediocrity” and “Just in: boyfriend’s gay. Merry Christmas.” Joyce Carol Oates wrote: “Revenge is living well, without you.” Stephen Colbert’s? “Well, I thought it was funny.”

Happiness is being next to you.

Readers are encouraged to write their own. Even if they are not descriptive of an entire life, the six words only have to be true for the moment you write them down.

Lost mind. Never got it back.

I’m obsessed.

They just say stupid things. Really, we're dealing with stupid people

The best non-word I've seen in a long time: alphabeticize.

What's the big idea?

I was looking through the I Saw U ads on Portland Mercury's website and saw this:

Chris S.?

The phone number you gave me last year was dead when I tried calling it. It's a boy and he's due in 9 weeks.

When: Sunday, July 29, 2007

Where: Downtown

I saw a: Man

I am a: Woman

Date posted: Monday, February 11, 2008

That has to be one of the most shocking ads I've seen. I wonder if Chris S. will ever read it.

Are you happy when you're standing still?

You know those days when you don’t feel like working? Today is one of them. Tomorrow will probably be one also. And Friday? Friday is usually an extension of Thursday in my workweek, and therefore is full of equal amounts of apathy. I get my job done though, so at least that counts for something.

But what am I here for?

Not at this office, I mean, but on this planet. Who am I helping? When I see a friend in need should I step in and offer my support? Or is that meddling? I don’t want to be in the middle of things but I also don’t want anyone to think I don’t care. I do care. Even if I don’t say anything, chances are good I am worrying about you. And how about those people who don’t have enough money for food, clothes, a place to sleep, transportation, a hot shower? I feel like I should do something to help them. I work hard for my money (though not as hard as I could, as evidenced by the above paragraph) and more or less do not spend it on every little thing that catches my eye, but I could cut back and use that money to help the less fortunate.

This whole thing is starting to sound like a liberal can’t-we-all-just-get-along idealistic pipe dream, which is not what I was shooting for. I guess I just want to get some direction back in my life … which means it’s time to make a list.

Stay tuned for how it turns out.

I know it's not much but it's the best I can do

I wish I was able to fully describe the intensity of Snow Patrol's "Make This Go On Forever" ... It sort of makes me feel like I'm between drowning and watching the world crash down around me, but even that doesn't do it justice. I'm not sad, I'm not missing that head-over-heels feeling, yet somehow this song reminds of those times I was. In a good way. It's like I can fully appreciate all I have now by being thrust into the shoes of someone who is confused and on the verge of losing it all.

The last girl in the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you taught me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness
Please just save me from this darkness

She looked a little whore-y, is all

So this one time (Friday) I drove to work holding my car door shut.

It was fun (not).

I can dish it cause I can take it

Today is Valentine’s Day, and yes it’s cheesy, cliched, overdone and trite, but I still somewhat enjoy it. It’s especially good when you have someone to spend it with. Craig and I went to The Cheescake Factory last night (which, by the way, is amazing), and I realized as we sat there in the dimly-lit restaurant just how much I adore him. Not only is he funny and cute, he is smart, sweet and laid back. I can see why there are few people who don’t get along with him. I just don’t see how he puts up with me – or my sisters, for that matter. We’re high-strung and emotional, and definitely high maintenance, so it would make sense for someone like him to get fed up with us. But he doesn’t. He must be crazy… or maybe he just really likes me.

Who wears short shorts?

Money makes ugly people hot. Need proof? Take a look at Rachel Ray.

I can only hope for a better tomorrow

My dear friend Kim brought up a good point today about how almost nobody (in our circle of friends, anyway) ever talks on the phone anymore. I actually make a point of telling people not to call me because texting is by far my preferred form of communication. Our 25-minute conversation today was easily the longest phone-to-phone contact I've had in months, and it was the first time I've discussed anything more than the final details of some upcoming plans with Kim since before we lived together. Sad.

As we talked about the pros and cons of such a change in trends, we both agreed this whole texting thing has gotten out of control. Yes there are times when a text is more useful than a phone call, but shirking the chance at a real conversation for some letters on a screen takes the personal element out of these encounters. There is no laughter in text messages... no raised voices... no shared moments of sadness. You can guess about such things, but it's often difficult to connect without hearing tone or pauses in speech. It's like an e-mail versus a handwritten letter, reading the news online instead of opening a newspaper.

Normally I would promote writing over speaking, but in this case I can't help but make a push for the latter.

The difference between you and me is I make this look good

More and more my relationships with others seem to be breaking down. Growing up I typically had two or three really good friends and a changing cast of characters that were my backup friends; now, however, I’m having trouble distinguishing between the two categories. Some of my former “good friends” have stabbed me in the back. Some are geographically challenged. Some have disappeared. Some are just, well, kind of boring.

It saddens me to see so many people come and go in my life throughout the past few years, and it also makes me wonder why.

Do I pick the wrong people or do the wrong people pick me? Sometimes, yes and yes.

Do I neglect those I care about? At times.

Am I a bad friend myself? Umm…

The tough thing about analyzing problems is realizing that sometimes they are your own fault.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning

Ahhh, a new blog.

New blog, new ... haircut?
Nah.

New blog, new ... boyfriend?
No way.

New blog, new ... shoes?
Getting closer.

New blog, new ... gum?
That works. I kind of like this Orbit Maui Melon Mint.