Food for thought

A list of what I'd like to eat right now (in the order it pops into my head):

Beans on toast
Sushi
Pretty much everything on the menu at Super Burrito
A Butterfinger Blizzard
A big, fat hamburger
Teriyaki chicken and rice
Grilled zucchini
Baked zucchini fritters
Corn on the cob
Bratwurst and sauerkraut, plus spicy mustard
Grapes
A grilled cheese sandwich
My dad's barbecued ribs
My dad's meatballs
Spaghetti
Gelato
Brownies a la mode
Chocolate chip cookies
Peanut Butter M&M's
Popcorn
Pizza
Chips and salsa

... Heck, even a Hot Pocket sounds good to me.

Time for a new game plan

Is there such thing as being in a happiness slump? In baseball there are hitting slumps, so I think it's a fair assessment that people sometimes go through droughts of happiness in life. With that said, I seem to have been in a slump lately. While it's true I have some decent reasons for it (exhaustion, physical ailments, my grandma being diagnosed with cancer, slow drivers, probably having to use my Vegas money to get a wisdom tooth pulled, etc.), I also have plenty of inspiration for a sunny outlook. A short list includes:

*A weekly paycheck
*Craig
*Summer weather
*A new shower curtain
*Starbucks gift cards
*Saturday

Irony is murder

It's crazy how I spend most of my life wishing for my top teeth to squeeze together on their own and now, after 26 years, my bottom teeth have decided to move closer. My perfect, straight, good row of teeth. Ruined. The front two don't line up anymore because that stupid wisdom tooth is pushing them into one another. That explains why my head has been killing me these past couple months, why a headache kept me up all night on Saturday, why my facial and neck muscles have been so sore... I guess at least I know it's not a tumor. But seriously? Dammit.

Suck and blow

I feel as though I am always doing, doing, doing, mostly with little appreciation or success. I try, it just doesn't always turn out right. Why is that? What's the point if I constantly fail? This is a drum I have beat over and over, and I still don't have a solution. I walk around always on the verge: of tears, of anger, of sleep. My life is a mess, my brain is messier... I can't seem to find a moment to stop and think.

I realized I thrive on structure and routine, and ever since being laid off I have lived in a world dominated by chaos. I need somebody to tell me exactly what the following day will bring -- Or, better yet, I need another job where I can tell myself what to expect the next morning. Will that ever happen? Doubtful. Time to just suck it up...

Monkey on my back

I haven't written anything in this blog for a while -- Or at least I haven't published anything in here for a while. It seems like every time I try to put my words down I get distracted, bored, tired, or otherwise too busy to finish. The half-dozen drafts saved onto Blogger are a good reminder of my failures, and they taunt me whenever I bring myself to log in. It is perfectionism at its finest.

I wish I could just click Publish Post without agonizing over each sentence; then again, if I didn't scrutinize everything, my rantings would likely resemble all the other shoddy writers out there who think having a blog makes them intelligent and scholarly. I guess by default I am choosing quality over quantity (that's what I tell myself anyway). I think it's about time I work on getting the saved ramblings published so that logging into my account isn't such a chore. Right? Right.

*Note: This post was one big pep talk to myself.