Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Afraid of the dark

I have developed a very bad habit lately: panicking. I'm lying in bed, the lights are off, my eyes are covered, my head is resting comfortably on my pillows and WHAM! I'm hit with fear and worry. "What if I lose my job(s)? What if my dad can't find work? What if an earthquake hits? What if we don't get approved to rent this new house? What if we do get approved to rent this new house and it's haunted? What if the girls and I can't afford this new house? What if my car gets broken into tonight? How am I going to find time to move? How am I going to afford to move? What if I get audited by the IRS? What if I have a stroke? What if something happens to Craig? What if something happens to the girls? What if the cat throws up and/or poops in the living room? What if I have to get my other wisdom teeth pulled? Are my library books overdue?" I tell myself to calm down and just sleep, but it doesn't work. I can't seem to ignore these thoughts at night. When I wake up the next morning I'm fine, albeit a little tired. What gives?

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