Change scares me most of the time. I'm not talking about trivial changes here, but the big ones: New job, new boyfriend, new living situation, new president, new monthly payment, new daily routine. It's like all those hoops I was used to jumping through just got swapped out for a different set that may or may not be comparable. What if it's all wrong? What if I fail? I never seem able to think positively in these instances, which makes me even more nervous, which makes me mess up, which shakes the little confidence I actually did have, which makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry for my mom.
It's not easy being an uptight perfectionist with multiple neuroses.
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