Last night when I was waiting to fall asleep, I realized one thing: I wasn't trying to fall asleep at all. In fact, I was struggling to keep my eyes open under the dorky sleep mask I wear. My brain was running at 100 mph, my back was tense -- this is not the way to power down after a long day. I was actually straining to stay awake.
And why? No reason at all. I had nothing to stay up for, I'd been dragging all day... really, I had nothing to do besides sleep. I had to consciously tell my body to relax in preparation for drifting off to dreamland. I forced my eyes to close, my shoulders to loosen up, and my brain to stop whirring, and, miraculously enough, I fell asleep.
The sad thing is I'm pretty sure I fight myself in that same manner almost every night. It's like the list of things I didn't get done during the day comes sneaking out of the shadows to haunt me when I'm trying to rest, causing even more fatigue when I try to tackle it all the next day. I sabotage myself without even knowing it.
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